The Crossfire Series By Sylvia Day

“I’d stop the world from spinning for you.”

Yes, I know its a very silly line, very lame/corny call it whatever, but I loved it! Who says stuff like that anymore, or ever has, for that matter?? So ridiculous, yet so romantic! Sigh!

I think it was the only thing that made reading the books seem worthwhile, the only thing I take from the books, I'd really like to forget the rest, which was a complete waste of time, and I only completed them because on principle, I always finish whatever books I start.

This series seemed suspiciously similar to the another series I'd read!! I was reading about these books, and apparently they have a genre of their own! So, now I know what to keep away from.

Anyway, about the books, she didn't really have to drag out the story in five installments! I'm sure the entire story could have been released as a short story had the repetitive parts been omitted, but I guess they didn't really hurt sales! All in all, a waste of time and money.

Bossypants By Tina Fey

From the back cover:

Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update," before "Sarah Palin," Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.
She has seen both these dreams come true.

At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon -- from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.

Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy. (Includes Special, Never-Before-Solicited Opinions on Breastfeeding, Princesses, Photoshop, the Electoral Process, and Italian Rum Cake!)

***

My Take:

I'm not a big fan of non-fiction books, but this was one of the exceptions. I found the cover a little stupid, but still picked up the book in spite of my strict "judge a book by its cover" rule, and it did not disappoint. Its not really LOL-funny, but leaves you with a silly smile on your face which can be attributed to the wisecracks made throughout the book. I know, because I had one myself, until a co-worker pointed it out!
Its more like a collection of magazine/newspaper articles, and the chapters are not really related to each other in any way.
And there are a lot of funny tips & tricks help with the daily dilemmas of the working woman. 
I felt like she used the book to clarify all misunderstandings/misconceptions regarding her, which is fine by me. An easy, fun read.

***

Editorial Reviews:

From Barnes & Noble

In her acceptance speech for Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, Tina Fey announced that she was proud to make her home in "the 'not-real America'." It is perhaps that healthy sense of incongruity that makes the head writer, executive producer, and star of NBC's Emmy Award-winning 30 Rock such a cogent observer of the contemporary scene. Bossypants, her entertaining new memoir, shows that strangeness has been her constant companion. Fey's stories about her childhood in Upper Darby, Pennsylvania are only appetizers for LOL forays into her college disasters, honeymoon catastrophes, and Saturday Night Live shenanigans. Most funny read of the month; the best possible weekend update.

Janet Maslin

…[Fey's] dagger-sharp, extremely funny…Bossypants isn't a memoir. It's a spiky blend of humor, introspection, critical thinking and Nora Ephron-isms for a new generation.
—The New York Times

The Internet

"Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, overrated troll."

A Guy Turning into a Werewolf

"Hilarious and insightful. Laugh-out-loud funny — oh no, a full moon. No! Arrgh! Get away from me! Save yourself!"

College Boyfriend

"You'd be really pretty if you lost weight."

From the Publisher

Once in a generation a woman comes along who changes everything. Tina Fey is not that woman, but she met that woman once and acted weird around her.

Tracy Morgan

"Mommy, where are my pretzels?"

Don Fey

"I hope that's not really the cover. That's really going to hurt sales."

Mark Twain

"Do not print this glowing recommendation of Tina Fey's book until I've been dead a hundred years."

A Guy Who Eats Books

"Absolutely delicious!"

Trees

"Totally worth it."

*** 

Funny lines from the book:

Gay people were made that way by God, but not solely for my entertainment.

Every interaction between blacks and whites was somehow supposed to be a life-changing lesson, especially for the white people. My generation carries that with us, only to be constantly disappointed by Kanye West and Taylor Swift.

You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

Some people say “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.

On Photoshoots:

If a bout of “creepy face” sets in, the trick is to look away from the camera between shots and turn back only when necessary. This also limits how much of your soul the camera can steal.

Someone should do a study of the human brain and how quickly it can adjust to luxury. You could take a homeless person who has been living on the street for twenty years, and if you let them do three magazine photo shoots, by the fourth one they’d be saying, “Louboutins don’t really work on me. Can I try the Roger Vivier?”

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool.

Tina Fey answers fan mail:

“Tina Fey is an ugly, pear-shaped, bitchy, overrated troll.”

To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair. I’ll leave it for others to say if I’m the best, but I am certainly one of the most dedicated trolls guarding bridges today. I always ask three questions, at least two of which are riddles.

As for “ugly, pear-shaped, and bitchy”? I prefer the terms “offbeat, business class–as*ed, and exhausted,” but I’ll take what I can get. There’s no such thing as bad press!

 

On 30Rock:

You know those scientists who were developing a blood-pressure medicine and they accidentally invented Viagra? We were trying to make Viagra and we ended up with blood-pressure medicine.

 

We decided not to decide. This is another technique I’d learned from Lorne. Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.

On Motherhood:

My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their situation,” my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn’t even ask myself.

When people say, “You really, really must ” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.

“Sleep when your baby sleeps.” Everyone knows this classic tip, but I say why stop there? Scream when your baby screams. Take Benadryl when your baby takes Benadryl.

What’s so great about work anyway? Work won’t visit you when you’re old. Work won’t drive you to get a mammogram and take you out after for soup. It’s too much pressure on my one kid to expect her to shoulder all those duties alone. Also, what if she turns on me? I am pretty hard to like. I need a backup.

The Mother’s Prayer for Its Daughter:

First, Lord: No tattoos.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister,

Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends,

For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord,

That I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored,

and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My

mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and

she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget.

But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen

Past, Present, Future

Just something I found while looking around, and decided to fill up:

Ten years ago, I:

1. started class 11 in MES, where my mom still teaches!
2. was really shy.
3. had to deal with being the only child around.

Five years ago, I:

1. was very busy with the final year college project.
2. was getting ready to shift into our big beautiful new house.
3. was giving piano lessons to three kids.

One year ago, I:

1. turned 25!
2. was seriously considering switching companies.
3. had a flare up of RA in my knee.

So far this year, I:

1. have resumed blogging.
2. completed three years in Pune.
3. have gone on the best holiday ever!

Yesterday, I:

1. Made serious diet plans.
2. Went for Physiotherapy.
3. Ordered a pizza for dinner.

Today, I:

1. dressed in a traditional outfit for Dandiya night at work.
2. listened to Just Give Me a Reason for like 10 times straight!
3. spoke to my brother after about two weeks.



Dandiya Night!

Tomorrow, I:

1. will continue with watching episodes of The Office.
2. will try to sleep early.
3. will arrange my books by the order in which I'll be reading them.

 In one year, I:

1. will be a better/nicer person.
2. will have hopefully learned to salsa.
3. will be thinner, as a consequence of (2)!

In five years, I:

1. will be married!
2. will live someplace else, maybe.
3. will be earning much much more than I currently am.

In ten years, I:

1. will have a kid.
2. will have written a novel.
3. will celebrate this blog's 10th birthday.

***

One of my favorite desserts: Tiramisu at Little Italy!

Something Blue By Emily Giffin

From the back cover:

Darcy Rhone has always been able to rely on a few things: her beauty and charm. Her fiancé Dex. Her lifelong best friend Rachel. She never needed anything else. Or so she thinks until Dex calls of their dream wedding and she uncovers the ultimate betrayal. Blaming everyone but herself, Darcy flees to London and attempts to recreate her glamorous life on a new continent. But to her dismay, she discovers that her tried-and-true tricks no longer apply—and that her luck has finally expired. It is only then that she can begin her journey toward redemption, forgiveness, and true love.

***

So, this is a sequel of sorts to the book Something Borrowed, with the main difference being that in this book, the narrator is Darcy, and thus tells the story from her perspective.
It was ok, I didn't really like the way Darcy changes completely by the end of the book, it was kind of unrealistic! In fact, the whole story of the fresh start where everything goes perfectly well with a few minor hiccups, was too far-fetched. In that respect, Something Borrowed was much more believable.
So, there was really nothing special about this book, I had expected a lot after reading her previous book, but was disappointed.

***

Some lines from the book:

After all, there is nothing like a mother telling you that you're making a bad decision to convince you that what you are doing is the absolute best course of action.

I suddenly recognized that there was a safety in having someone, as well as a lack of pressure to shine. Ironically, this had cultivated a certain free-spiritedness that had, in turn, allowed me to be the life of the party and hoard the affection of additional men.

We were all accountable. We had all lied and cheated. But despite everything, I knew we were still good people. We all deserved a second chance, a chance to be happy.
I considered the expression "Once a cheater, always a cheater," and I dismissed it as a fallacy. People generally didn't cheat in good relationships,

Love and friendship. They are what make us who we are, and what can change us, if we let them.

Can You Keep A Secret? By Sophie Kinsella

 From the back cover:

Meet Emma Corrigan, a young woman with a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets: 
Secrets from her boyfriend: I’ve always thought Connor looks a bit like Ken. As in Barbie and Ken. Secrets from her mother: I lost my virginity in the spare bedroom with Danny Nussbaum while Mum and Dad were downstairs watching Ben-Hur. 
Secrets she wouldn’t share with anyone in the world: I have no idea what NATO stands for. Or even what it is. 
Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane. At least, she thought he was a stranger.…Until Emma comes face-to-face with Jack Harper, the company’s elusive CEO, a man who knows every single humiliating detail about her...

***

This was just another chick lit book, but with some very funny moments, that had me literally laughing out loud!!
It is basically about all the secrets & insecurities that Emma has, and how she deals with them, when they are revealed first to one stranger on a plane, and later on to nearly everybody she knows!

In some ways I found Emma to be a lot like Becky from the Shopaholic series, her at times ditzy behavior, and how she handles embarrassing situations, etc.
But, I liked the book for its simplicity, it does not go over-the-top with any characters, and the situations the protagonist finds herself in are totally believable. Really! I mean, who says a chance meeting with some guy on a plane wont lead to a relationship with a multi-millionaire!!!
 
A light, fun book & definite re-read this book in the future.

***

Some quotes:

“Relationships are a battle. They are a chess game. And what did I do? I just threw all my chess pieces down on the board at once, and said, "Here! Have them all!” 

“If you can't be honest with your friends and colleagues and loved ones, then what is life all about?”  

“The truth is, some relationships are supposed to last forever, and some are only supposed to last a few days. That’s the way life is.” 

Shopgirl By Steve Martin

From the Back Cover:

Mirabelle works as a shop assistant in the glove department at Neiman’s, L.A.’s finest store. She has two men in her life : Jeremy, a man who stencils amplifiers for a living; and Mr Roy Porter, a rich, older man who believes he can apply logic to relationships and is serially confused. How can she choose between a man who thinks a date is a chance meeting in a Laundromat, and a man whose policy of honesty is guaranteed to hurt her?

***

I didn't know Steve Martin was an author too! I loved him in the Father of the Bride (one of my all-time favorites!) & The Pink Panther movies. Anyway, moving on to the book. I didn't really like it initially but it got better towards the end. I really love happy endings and in that, Shopgirl does not disappoint.

It gets off to a pretty depressing start, with a description of Mirabelle's lonely and melancholic existence. I didn't think it was possible, but the rendezvous with Jeremy are even sadder!
And then she meets Mr. Roy Porter, and everything is so much better, she very quickly falls in love with him, a love that is not consciously reciprocated, as he is still looking for the perfect woman, who most definitely is not Mirabelle.

In an attempt to make it clear to Mirabelle this is just a fling, the following conversation happens:

"I think I should tell you a few things. I don't think I'm ready for a real relationship right now." He says his not to Mirabelle but to the air, as though he is just discovering a truth about himself and accidentally speaking it aloud.

Mirabelle answers, "You had a rough time with your divorce."

Understanding. For Ray Porter, that is good. She absolutely knows that this will never be long term. He goes on: "But I love seeing you and I want to keep seeing you."

"I do too," says Mirabelle. Mirabelle believes he has told her that he is bordering on falling in love with her, and Ray believes she understands that he isn't going to be anybody's boyfriend.

"I'm traveling too much right now," he says. In this sentence, he serves notice that he would like to come into town, sleep with her, and leave. Mirabelle believes that he is expressing frustration at having to leave town and that he is trying to cut down on traveling.

"So what I'm saying is that we should be allowed to keep our options open, if that's okay with you."

At this point, Ray believes he has told her that in spite of what could be about to happen tonight, they are still going to see other people. Mirabelle believes that after he cuts down on his traveling, they will see if they should get married or just go steady. 


Although such hilarious exchanges are rare in the book, the rest is not too bad.

Things get bad when Mirabelle finds out about Ray's indiscretions. She still loves him, but cant forgive him, so she ends things. And try as he might, Ray just cant seem to stop thinking about her.
So, they stay in touch, and he helps her in any way he can. She eventually gets over him somewhat, and is back to living a solitary life, when the unexpected happens and we get a happy ending!!

I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle

From the Back Cover:

Denis Cooverman wanted to say something really important in his high school graduation speech. So, in front of his 512 classmates and their 3,000 relatives, he announced: "I love you, Beth Cooper."
It would have been such a sweet, romantic moment. Except that Beth, the head cheerleader, has only the vaguest idea who Denis is. And Denis, the captain of the debate team, is so far out of her league he is barely even the same species. And then there's Kevin, Beth's remarkably large boyfriend, who's in town on furlough from the United States Army. Complications ensue. 

This book was an impulse buy, and mostly because of the colorful cover! Also the author was a writer for the Simpsons, which can be funny at times.

Anyway, I didn't particularly like the book. It was too much to take in such a short span of time, and most of it was cartoonish and not very real! There were many unbelievable scenes like Kevin's truck entering the living room and the cow incident! I mean you see that kinda stuff mainly in cartoons and maybe Jim Carrey movies!
The basic premise of the book was good, but there was nothing remarkable about the following settings/scenes. 

Something Borrowed By Emily Giffin

From the Back Cover:

Rachel White is the consummate good girl. A hard-working attorney at a large Manhattan law firm and a diligent maid of honor to her charmed best friend Darcy, Rachel has always played by all the rules. Since grade school, she has watched Darcy shine, quietly accepting the sidekick role in their lopsided friendship. But that suddenly changes the night of her thirtieth birthday when Rachel finally confesses her feelings to Darcy's fiance, and is both horrified and thrilled to discover that he feels the same way. As the wedding date draws near, events spiral out of control, and Rachel knows she must make a choice between her heart and conscience. In so doing, she discovers that the lines between right and wrong can be blurry, endings aren't always neat, and sometimes you have to risk everything to be true to yourself.

***

So I'd written about the movie here, and once I came to know it was actually based on a book by the same name, I had to get it cause I really liked the movie, and the book was better than the movie (which is almost always the case!).
 
There are a few differences between the movie and the book, the major ones being the role played by Ethan, which is pretty small in the book, as compared to the movie, and the part just before the ending, which I'm not giving away.

The constant struggle in Rachel's mind between happiness at being with the man she loves, and guilt at cheating on her best friend, however malicious she is, is the crux of the book.
What I didn't understand was how someone supposedly as smart as Rachel couldn't figure out that her best friend has been sabotaging here from the very start of their friendship, and also  how could she continue seeing Dex, when she can see that he's not doing anything to end the relationship with Darcy!
I guess where your near ones are concerned, one can be quite blind to their faults.
 

***

Some memorable excerpts from the book, all a part of Rachel's internal monologue:

I am a good friend. A good person. This isn't who I am. I must stop. I won't know myself if I don't stop.
Yet I don't move away.

I will tell him that it has to stop. This time I really mean it.  

How can I end something that I have never experienced before? Something I have been waiting for my whole life? Nobody before Dex could make me feel this way, and what if I never find it again? What if this is it?

I used to wonder how they found people who had committed such acts of despicable disloyalty. Now I was joining the low-life ranks.

Maybe it is meant to be.

"What are we doing?"
There it is. The Question.
Every time I answer it differently:
We are following our hearts.
We are taking a chance.
We are crazy.
We are self-destructive.
We are lustful.
We are confused.
We are rebelling.
He is afraid of marriage.
I am afraid of being alone.
We are falling in love.
We are already in love.
And the most common: we have no idea.
This is the one I offer up. "I don't know."

She is subdued. Something is wrong. Maybe there is trouble brewing at home, a visible crack emerging in their relationship. Maybe Dex said something to her. I feel a surge of hope, which is followed by a larger dose of guilt. How can I so easily root for my friend's unhappiness?

And the best one:

Life's not black-and-white. Sometimes the end justifies the means.